It’s been four months since Céline Dion lost “the love of [her] life” René Angélilto throat cancer at age 73.
Though she’s dealing with unimaginable heartbreak, the singer tells PEOPLE in this week’s cover story, “I really, really want to prove to my kids their mother is strong.” For Dion, work has become her safe haven. She’ll be taking the stage at Sunday’s Billboard Music Awards to receive the Icon award and performing a cover of Queen’s “The Show Must Go On,” a song title that had a strong significance in the couple’s romance and work relationship.
“René always insisted the show must go on,” the mother of three says. “You know what, I’m 48 years old and I lost the love of my life. I miss him a lot from when he was great but not when he was suffering. I cannot be selfish. You have to let people go. I feel at peace.”
Angélil, who guided Dion’s career as her manager and mentor, had battled three bouts of cancer, leading his wife to put her career on hold multiple times to care for her husband.
He was first diagnosed with throat cancer in 1999. In December 2013, doctors removed a tumor, but the cancer returned in 2014.
“It’s been a long, long journey,” Dion said about caring for her late husband. “We were living in hope, knowing that there’s no hope.” The couple first met in Montreal when Dion was just 12. They would go on to spend 21 years of marriage together and have three children, René-Charles, 15, and 5-year-old twins Nelson and Eddy.
For much more on Céline Dion’s heartbreaking loss, how she told her children, and how they are all finding the strength to go on, pick up the upcoming issue of PEOPLE, on newsstands Friday
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